WTF got new cell phones. Cool Japanese cell phones. It is a bit harrowing signing a contract when you have no idea what it says, what with it being in Japanese. I am hoping I didn’t sign away my right kidney or agree to a 1,000,000Yen disconnection fee, roughly the equivalent value of my kidney on the black market. I don’t have the slightest idea of all the things it can do, again, what with the manual being in Japanese. This much I’ve figured out. Buy a train ticket, yes. Track my weight and daily steps, yes. Flash news updates, yes. Navigate me home from my shopping trip, yes. Plan an evacuation route in case of an island destroying earthquake, yes. Fix a flat tire, maybe, I just can’t read the screen to confirm.
The phone is thin and lightweight. Very sparkly too, an added benefit for The Warden, not so much WTF Husband. I think I will call her Baby. Frances Houseman just didn’t sound right. Confused, guess you haven’t watched Dirty Dancing. Baby makes our old phones look outmoded and prehistoric.
Here’s the thing I’ve noticed though. The Japanese people want to ruin my Baby with straps and charms of all kinds. Called keitai straps, that little wrist strap you add to your phone, has become a cultural phenomenon here, well beyond its basic utility. I hate these things. They get in your way of nicely and neatly tucking your phone away in your purse or your husband’s pocket, along with the lipstick and mirror you ask him to carry.
In a small country with such a dense population, I suppose anything to help identify you from the person next to you becomes a necessity. Everyone from karoke-singing, Sapporo-drinking salarymen, to the hunched-over grannies who don’t look before stepping into oncoming traffic, to the Gothic Lolitas in Harajuku all adorn their cell phones with this little, useless strap. To the point that the phone could give you tennis elbow for all the charms and do-dads hanging off it.
Maybe I’m being too hasty. I think I’ll get strapped too, with this Shear Panther Sexy Underwear Cell Phone Strap. For a good chuckle, check out the description. WTF Husband would love a little Erokawa. 
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